What To Tell Your Wife When She Complains
About The Cost Of A Big Green Egg

If you have ever looked into the cost of a Big Green Egg, you'll know that they are more expensive than a lot of gas and charcoal grills that you might have contemplated buying. Or that your wife may have contemplated letting you buy. By time you add accessories and possibly a table or cart for it, you can easily be approaching $1000. If you had the nerve to tell your wife about it, you may be wondering now if that was such a wise move. Add to the high price the fact that "Big Green Egg" sounds wierd, and the fact that your wife may not be as cosmopolitan as you when it comes to outdoor food preparation, she probably thinks you're nuts.

We were perusing an up-market grill catalog (heck, the catalog cost $10) and noticed some rather pricey items. It suddenly occurred to us that perhaps a strategem for winning over the reluctant wife might lie within the covers of this catalog. It would go something like this:

You: "Honey, I've been thinking about getting a new grill, and I've made a list of what I think we'll need."

The Wife: "Oh", she will say eyeing you cautiously.

You: "Well, to start off, we'll need this light. You know how we like to grill in the winter. And then we'll need this trash bin. You know how you hate it when I make a mess and you have to clean up. We'll also need this cart to keep things organized and have a place to put it all. And I was thinking that we should probably get an ice maker so we don't have to run in and out of the house to get ice for big parties. And you remember that last time we had people over and the beer got warm? Well, I think we need a beer refrigerator to keep the beer cold. I know how you hate warm beer. And finally, I picked out a grill that should meet all our needs. It is plenty large and can do both gas and charcoal! And the ad says it is indestructible!"

The Wife: "So how much is that all going to cost us?" she will ask.

You: "Well, $125 for the light, $279 for the bin, $349 for the cart, $2250 for the ice maker, $2250 for the beer refrigerator and $5950 for the grill adds up to $11,203. Maybe for such a large order, they'll ship for free, huh? Whadya' think, honey?"

The Wife: [Insert profanity-laced "are you out of your f***ing mind" type of response here.]

You: "Oh, I didn't know you felt so strongly about spending so much money. In that case, howsabout we settle for a Big Green Egg? We should be able to get by with a flat $1000."

I think it should work. Incidentally, should you want your own copy of the catalog to leave lying around the house for your wife to find, you can order one from Frontgate.

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