Official Starbucks Free Speech Campaign
Legal Entry Form

Various portions of this page are black, just like those poor little burnt coffee beans, in order to protest attempts to censor negative opinions of Starbucks "coffee" on the Internet.

"I, (say your name), by virtue of checking all of the following boxes, signing my name inside the box with my right index finger, and clicking on the 'Electronically Sign This Form' button, do solemnly declare and affirm under penalty of perjury:

I am, as of this moment, of legal coffee-drinking age.
I am mature enough to allow other people to have negative opinions about $tarbuck$.
I understand that when I access this site, I will potentially be exposed to visual images, textual descriptions or audio sounds of negative opinions of $tarbuck$ coffee, which may consist of graphic visual depictions and descriptions of such negative opinions.
Negative opinions about $tarbuck$ do not offend the standard of the community in which I live.
In my judgement, the average adult in my community accepts the consumption of negative opinions of $tarbuck$ by consenting adults in circumstances which offer reasonable insulation from the materials for minors and unwilling adults, such as the conditions under which I am voluntarily entering this site.
In my judgement, the average adult in my community does not find negative opinions of $tarbuck$ to appeal to a prurient interest or to be patently offensive.
It is not illegal to view negative opinions about $tarbuck$ in the community in which I live.
I understand that it is solely my responsibility for determining if negative opinions of $tarbuck$ coffee violate either the standards or the laws of the community in which I live.
I am not offended by negative opinions about $tarbuck$.
I am voluntarily entering this site because I want to view, read and/or hear the various materials which are available which contain negative opinions of $tarbuck$, for my own personal enjoyment, information and/or education.
My choice is a manifestation of my interest in negative opinions of $tarbuck$, which is both healthy and normal and, which, in my experience, is generally shared by average adults in my community.
I am not accessing these negative opinions about $tarbuck$ to use against the site operator or any person whomsoever in any conceivable manner.
I agree not to hold the operator of this site or any person whomsoever responsible in any conceivable manner for any damages that might result from me viewing negative opinions about $tarbuck$, and agree to indemnify and release from all liability the operator of this web site should any such damages occur.
I am not a law enforcement official performing any official duty trying to enter this web site for the purpose of preventing the free flow of negative opinions of $tarbuck$ on the Internet.
I am not an employee or agent of $tarbuck$ intent upon accessing this site for the purpose of stopping the free flow of negative opinions about $tarbuck$ on the Internet.
I will not redistribute negative opinions about $tarbuck$ to anyone nor will I permit any person not of mental coffee-drinking age to see negative opinions about $tarbuck$, or any other person who might find negative opinions about $tarbuck$ personally offensive.
I subscribe to the principles of the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States which holds that free adult Americans have the right to view negative opinions about $tarbuck$, free from both governmental and vigilante interference.
I don't get upset by references to "$tarbuck$" and "Guatemala" in the same sentence.
I fully understand that attempts to force entry into this site may be a violation of federal law.
I have read and by virtue of checking this box agree with the Full and Official List of Starbucks Free Speech Campaign Disclaimers.

and having done so, specifically, irrevocably and voluntarily request entry to the web site known as "The Starbucks Free Speech Campaign Web Site."

Using Your Right Index Finger,
Please Sign Your Name Within This Box:

And just to be sure, check this last box. Just in case.
Better check this one, too.
And this one.

Now, finally click on this button.

If you get a "Page Not Found" error when you electronically sign the Official Starbucks Free Speech Campaign Legal Entry Form by clicking on the above button, you can perform a CoffeeGuard® Electronic Security Check Bypass Procedure® and enter the Starbucks Free Speech Campaign Web Site by clicking
HERE.

If you do not agree with the above set of statements, refuse to check all the boxes, sign your name inside the box with your right index finger, click on the "Electronically Sign This Form" button, or are unwilling to perform a CoffeeGuard® Electronic Security Check Bypass Procedure®, you can exit this page by either using the BACK button on your browser or following this link to somewhere perhaps more to your liking.
(Say "Hi" to Geoffrey for us, won't you?)

Concerned Parents!
Are you worried about minors who aren't of coffee-drinking age gaining access to this and other web sites that contain negative opinions of $tarbuck$? Visit CoffeeGuard® and find out how you can do your part to keep kids safe!
Coffee Guard® -- A Great Bunch of Guys!!

DISCLAIMER: This page and the rest of the Starbucks Free Speech Campaign Web Site are all a big joke, expression of personal opinion, and a form of satire, all of which are constitutionally protected forms of free speech. We don't take ourselves too seriously, so don't you either. Ok? You may also choose to read the Full and Official List of Starbucks Free Speech Campaign Website Dislaimers. Or you might not.


All contents© 1995,2014 Hot Off The Internet
Privacy Policy

You can support this website by shopping at The Naked Whiz Website Store and Amazon.com