Correspondence From Fanny

We occassionally receive correspondence from Fanny which we would like to share with you here:

Date: August 20, 1997
From: F.J.Bush (Miss)
Tunbridge Wells
Subject: Fanny in the Triangle

Dear Hot Off The Internet,

After much planning and several false starts, I am delighted to announce that I shall be visiting the United States in a few weeks' time. At my age, one does not lightly undertake such a journey, but I am pleased to say that my great-nephew will be travelling with me, on what he likes to call Fanny's Big Ones Tour. (I take this to be a reference to the size of the states of New York and Texas, both of which feature in my itinerary.) It is a happy and well-proven partnership - he carries the bags, drives the motor car and pours the drinks, while I handle the technology and administer his medicine.

Knowing what you do of me, you will understand that I could hardly omit the Triangle area from my plans, so I hope you will be pleased to hear that my party will arrive in your fair city on 26 September. I am more excited than you can imagine about catching up with some old US Air Force friends, one in particular - I wonder if he can still load a rocket launcher? - but it would set the seal on a wonderful adventure if I could visit you too. Perhaps you could get hold of some toads, then I'll make the hole and show you some cheesy delight too.

Yours in trembling anticipation,

Date: August 1, 1997
From: F.J.Bush (Miss)
Tunbridge Wells
Subject: Cricket

Dear Hot Off The Internet,

Thank you for your kind remarks and your interest in the great Don. You have my full support in your venture to bring cricket to the American public, and to help get you started, my great-nephew and I passed a long train journey yesterday in compiling the little glossary I am sending to you. It is only a beginning - so rich are the history and vocabulary of the game that it would be the work of a lifetime to document them fully - but I promise to send you updated versions as time and my old trouble allow.

Perhaps you could help us Europeans a little too, by helping us with the similarly broad vocabulary of baseball. I watched an inter-squadron game in the spring of '44 in which a co-pilot of my acquaintance was playing. I remember very little after he took me aside between innings with the promise of showing me what his Liberator could do, but that man had a first-up slider that I'll never forget. Perhaps with your help, I could rekindle some more of those wonderful memories.

Fondest regards,

Date: July 28, 1997
From: Frances Bush, Spinster
Tunbridge Wells, Kent
Subject: D.G.Bradman

Dear Hot off the Internet,

You are, of course, absolutely right, and I don't know why I didn't tell you this sooner. As you well know, I adore cricket, cricketers, the rumble of the heavy roller and the smack of leather on ...I'm sorry, first things first. In 1948, Donald Bradman or The Don, as he was known to players and public alike - at least, that's what it sounded like - led arguably the finest cricket team ever assembled on what was to be his final tour of England.

I was fortunate enough to meet him briefly during a break in play during the Australians' match against Sussex. He was kind enough to tell me as we parted that he'd never again have a problem fitting a new rubber grip to his bat handle. (This, many cricketers have told me, is the hardest job in the game - worse than sweeping the dressing rooms afterwards. If only The Don had met me before the war, think of the anguish I could have saved him.)

I shall certainly never forget that meeting. As for The Don, who knows? He walked out at The Oval that August to begin his last Test innings, needing only four runs for a career average of 100. I have heard it suggested that it was thinking of me that caused him to miss his second ball and be out without scoring, but I am happy to treasure the memory of that short meeting, and the bottle of linseed oil with the great man's fingerprints still on it.

I must close there and go to the Conservative Association for a sweet sherry - all this reminiscing has made me quite giddy.

Yours as ever, F.J.Bush (Miss)

p.s. My great-nephew has been kind enough to acknowledge the help I gave him in creating the recipe you currently publish as Clive's Cauliflower Cheese, and asks that from now on it be known as Fanny's Cheesy Delight.

Date: July 23, 1997 From: Frances Bush
Tunbridge Wells
Subject: Web Page

Dear Hot Off The Internet,

Many thanks for your kindness in notifying me of your excellent site's new location. I especially enjoyed the new section on the Colonel's Jeep Driver, which took me straight back to the summer of '43. The chappie I knew drove for a Brigadier, but he was a fascinating man, a real inspiration - without him, I might never have thought of the Jumbo Sausage derivative of my toad in the hole, and then where would we be?

I also enjoyed your little polemic against the loathsome Starbucks coffee shops. All the talk of coffee beans reminded me that my own equipment has been sadly lacking in after-dinner-grind terms of late, and I set off on a magical tour of Cyberland in search of something better. on the way, I found this at

and thought of you:

'If you are interested in making truly good quality coffee, stick with good beans. Don't buy the supermarket brand. Avoid Starbucks unless you have a taste for burnt beans. By over-roasting their beans, they ensure that quality variations aren't discernible. Flavor also goes out the window, but that's secondary. If you still worship at the altar of Starbucks, try a trip to Italy. After a few weeks of true espresso as few in this country can make it, you'll know the difference...'

Yours with warmest good wishes,
F. Bush (Miss)

All contents© 1995,2018 Hot Off The Internet
Privacy Policy

You can support this website by shopping at The Naked Whiz Website Store and